How to Fall in Love For Real

At twenty-two, I fell in love with the sales clerk who helped me pick out clothes at the mall. I was in love with my best friend’s wife. I was in love with everything. The sales clerk’s name was Cricket. She was six months pregnant. And for two weeks at sea, I imagined how I could love the child she was carrying, even if he wasn’t mine. I was in love with the Navy. I don’t know which part, and I would have rather not admitted it. But there is something important when you’re called a sailor. You’re iconic. Guys like you show up in movies. At twenty-two, it meant I had an identity people would recognize. I was serving my country, which I was in love with. I carried a copy of the Constitution in my back pocket. One day I would be president. I was utterly hopeless. I was trying very hard to be an intellectual. At twenty-two, I answered a personal ad. “SWF, 19, Feminist. Intimidated? Don’t bother. Intrigued? Call me.” Who could have imagined someone so forward and brash in that many words? I had never imagined an intellectual would take out a personal ad. I […]